Making friendships as an adult (over the age of 40 especially) can be a bit tricky. This week’s episode is about making friends and overcoming our vulnerabilities in the process. Prioritizing friendships and being a good friend is the exchange for having a good friend. It can feel similar and just as complicated when finding a soulmate!
While raising children, my friends were frequently chosen by them connecting me with mom’s of their friends, hence making it very easy for me. I still have some of those friends. One of them in particular is one of my nearest and dearest friends although our daughter’s drifted apart by 9th grade. Meeting people at work is great however with the growing population of people working from home it’s best to have a plan B. Do things you enjoy so you are surrounded by people that share that common interest or activity.
Try to be self aware so you are not coming on too strong or seeming so desperate. This is what I mean by it being similar to finding a soulmate. Once we are older and wiser, we tend to be more selective of the company we keep. It can be for the reason that we have been hurt in the past while engaged in toxic friendships or simply that we need to let our inner extrovert out once in a while.
Most of us over 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and beyond don’t feel like we have to collect friends or be the most popular person in town. Some people do, I am generalizing. Whatever your position is at this time in your life I hope you are flourishing with genuine, meaningful friendships. I have a few ideas if you are in the process of seeking out your people.
Building Your Circle of Friends
- Make a list of places, groups, clubs, volunteer opportunities, activities you enjoy. I like MeetUp
- Show Up
- Be Yourself…not who you think they want you to be
- Take genuine interest in others and take close note if it is being reciprocated (not everyone wants to be your friend-it’s okay)
- Keep in touch… make dates, phone calls, text, group text, GroupMe, MarcoPolo, etc
- Contact Me
Friendships are often times our greatest asset. Value them as such because studies show people with strong friendships live longer. How in the world “they” know that is beyond me? Give it a whirl! Cheers!!